something?

the rain pounded the windsheild all the way there. across the bridge - the salt water a dark shade of grey, almost unable to see the fine line between water and sky.
once there, it seemed like a relief to be out of the car and the rain.
there has never been a sense of safety in her mind when the roads are wet. and when visibility is next to nothing, her life always feels on the line.

and there she was. once again, headed towards a situation that is totally in her control. every single aspect of it - every detail and every move made was all up to her.
she knows that's what keeps her coming back. even though the words have been spoken several times, she can't help but go back. it's the only thing in her life that she can control and she revels in that feeling.

the house is dark and the music is loud. it's comfortable and feels so safe - the secret that she's been hiding from so many is once again something she is living in and not only thinking about. her heart begins to ache with the realization that she's there for only one thing, but she's made the trip and she's not going to waste one second of it.

in the back of the house, the darkest bedroom is where she finds her. she's doing some domestic - catching up from the week and preparing for the new one ahead.
she stands in the doorway watching her for a few minutes before her presence is detected. and all it takes is the smile that makes her heart sing...

so i thought i was going to be able to sit down and write something but i can't.
i can't bring myself to rehash it.

anyway - school sucks (carotids are an almost impossible task).
life sucks (being a closet alcoholic must suck).
it's my anniversary and i wish it was to highlight divorce rather than 14 years of marriage.

okay brown dog from up north - get off my ass now.
hehe..

xo.