minutes hold on to hours

today started early, just as i knew it would.

i needed to go talk to my friend across the bay. there have been too many misunderstandings over the past few days, and as much as i shouldn't care, i just don't have it in my heart to be a cold bitch to her.

she wants too much - much more than i can offer her with my attachments as they are.
she says that she won't be happy without me but the current course is not fair to her in any way.

i went to tell her that she needed to make the decision that would be best for her - the one that will allow her to meet other people and find the one that she wants to have a real relationship with.

i went to tell her that she needs to put herself out there and find someone to be friends with rather than sit at home and complain about not having any friends and how lonely she is (which, of course, ties in with me and how i can't be there for her the way she wants).


i told her that i do deeply care about her.
it started out on very selfish terms and now i can't help but be concerned about her feelings.

she told me she loves me.

i told her to not waste those feelings on me.

she was having a yard sale, i checked out the stuff.
i bought a big mirror, like bathroom sized, and left.

over the bridge with the sun roof open and the music loud, there was a little bit of clarity.
my brain feels a little bit less stuffed full.

and i'm going to have the girls do/paint something on the mirror and hang it in my entry.

yes
sand is empty
in the hourglass
i’ll be there
to turn it over and over
in your head

oh you see
too hard to break
too cold to burn
afraid your chance is gone
the wires are crossed
your mouth is lost
you fear you’ve left it far too long
the minutes pass
the hours are gone
so hard to find your way alone

as the slow hands quicken
the slow hands quicken