no better later

spent the bulk of the day with my mother shopping.
when that woman has cash, there is just no stopping her.
except for when she's digging out a credit card.

it's hard to feel the christmas spirit when all i can think of is loss.
things really are going to be great this year because of the baby's enthusiasm about the holiday. that alone makes it worth it.
just a matter of time before the big girl decides there is no santa. but she will be pretty impressed when she finds out that santa got her a engraved epod.

nothing comes to me when i try to write.
i'm stressed about the last few weeks of school.
stressed about needing to further my education with no direction.
worried that i'll never be what i'm supposed to be.

but i'm trying to find the good and the happy in everything.
it's all i can do, right?