you think you know..

maybe it's because i'm not under the watchful eye this weekend and actually feel a bit free for the first time in a long time...

- i hate feet.
especially my own.
if i could take my feet off and put them in a box before i get in bed at night, i would.

and having a husband that has feet just like fred flintst0ne is the icing on the cake.

- i fear my deepest secret is coming to fruition.
i don't ever want my husband to find out because he would use it against me at some point in time.

but my dear friend knew all along and accepted it wholeheartedly.

- when i went away to college, i was pregnant.
i thought i knew who his father was by the color of his fine hair.

but they all had hair similar in color anyway.

- my day always gets better once the alcohol starts flowing.

but i think everyone already knows this.

- CL is my friend. especially certain categories.

but those just might get me in trouble, too.

- late at night when i'm awake in bed listening to the hushed sounds of my husband's cpap machine, i sometimes strain too hard to sense if he's breathing at all.

when i realize that his chest is moving, i feel empty all over again.

- sometimes i wish i wasn't able to love like i do.
my heart is in a constant state of pain because of it.

but i think everyone already knows this, too.

- when i was in college (the first time), i had a seven month tryst with my married english lit teacher. everyone in the class always said he had some issues by the way he would always play with his tie. i came to find out that they way he would run his hand down his tie was the same way he would stroke his cock.
monday through thursday, we would fuck in his office before class. i would show up to class five minutes late because i would have to run back to the dorm and clean up a bit, only to go right back to his office and fuck some more when class was over.
on fridays, after he had dinner with his family, we would meet at a seedy hotel and fuck some more. usually on sunday, after he and his family attended church, he would meet some friends for "flag football".

flag football = mutual masturbation in his car.

my college transcript includes eleven literature courses.

- if you don't scroll down, how do you know if you miss posts?

i'm not guilty of this.

- from the end of march to about the middle of september 2002, i lost 40+ pounds. everyone was so proud of me for losing the weight i had been carrying around for years (baby weight from the big girl that i had been bitching about since 96). i was proud of me for finally losing the weight, too. it felt good to have it off finally.

but no one knew i had a crack habit as big as my car.

- and i'm getting ready to take the baby to the liquor store.

what a bad mother i am.
heh...