the start of a stressful week full of exams and crap.
my scan final was good but my images sucked ass. the gal i scanned - everyone said "oh ya, she's an easy scan" but they are all full of shit. everything was hazy and shitty with no clarity of the tissues at all.
at least the instructor saw what my dilemma was and made note of it. she knows i can scan like it's no body's business so tonight shouldn't be much of a set back.
tomorrow is the last physics test (over doppler, bioeffects, and quality assurance). i'm just so fucking glad that we get five points added on to the grade.
wednesday is the pathology final - 19 chapters of bullshit ranging from tumors to cancers and everything in between (digestive, pancreas, male/female repro, cardiovascular, urinary, development, uh... and about ten other chapters of crap).
then thursday is the day i dread like the goddammed plague.
gah.
is anyone keeping track of how long my dear friend has been dead? i've forgotten. but i do know it's been a long time.
i've been having dreams about what his physical body must look like by now. i don't like to think along those terms but my dreams are consumed by it.
usually, i wake up from dreams like that but i never do anymore. i don't wake up until i'm on my knees in tears over his grave and by that time, my pillow is so wet, it wakes me up.
it's just fucked up.
thinking about getting new ink while out of town this weekend. my husband says not to and all that is doing is making me want to that much more. i'm gonna get a line drawing of the photo that is on the headstone. i had other ideas for a memorial type tat but i'm leaning towards that photo.
the day i took that photo was my 35th birthday. in the hours before that photo was taken, we had shared so much between us that will stay in my heart forever. it was a spur of the moment photo that has ended up meaning so much for so many.
and it's mine.
saw a tag on an excursi0n on the way home from class that made me think of you, A.
it said "4MY1 LAB"
but maybe the guy was a scientist or something. who knows.
and i gotta lose 10 pounds by friday.
you think i can?
heh...
my scan final was good but my images sucked ass. the gal i scanned - everyone said "oh ya, she's an easy scan" but they are all full of shit. everything was hazy and shitty with no clarity of the tissues at all.
at least the instructor saw what my dilemma was and made note of it. she knows i can scan like it's no body's business so tonight shouldn't be much of a set back.
tomorrow is the last physics test (over doppler, bioeffects, and quality assurance). i'm just so fucking glad that we get five points added on to the grade.
wednesday is the pathology final - 19 chapters of bullshit ranging from tumors to cancers and everything in between (digestive, pancreas, male/female repro, cardiovascular, urinary, development, uh... and about ten other chapters of crap).
then thursday is the day i dread like the goddammed plague.
my ultrasound physics final.
it's like... d-day or something. the day i totally crash and burn in a big fireball from hell. i'm going to take my physics book with me to the bowl-a-thon this weekend because i will definitely be prepared for the final retake.gah.
is anyone keeping track of how long my dear friend has been dead? i've forgotten. but i do know it's been a long time.
i've been having dreams about what his physical body must look like by now. i don't like to think along those terms but my dreams are consumed by it.
usually, i wake up from dreams like that but i never do anymore. i don't wake up until i'm on my knees in tears over his grave and by that time, my pillow is so wet, it wakes me up.
it's just fucked up.
thinking about getting new ink while out of town this weekend. my husband says not to and all that is doing is making me want to that much more. i'm gonna get a line drawing of the photo that is on the headstone. i had other ideas for a memorial type tat but i'm leaning towards that photo.
the day i took that photo was my 35th birthday. in the hours before that photo was taken, we had shared so much between us that will stay in my heart forever. it was a spur of the moment photo that has ended up meaning so much for so many.
and it's mine.
saw a tag on an excursi0n on the way home from class that made me think of you, A.
it said "4MY1 LAB"
but maybe the guy was a scientist or something. who knows.
and i gotta lose 10 pounds by friday.
you think i can?
heh...
look at me in my fancy car
and my bank account
oh, how i wish i could take it all down
into my grave, i'd save and save
take a look again, take a look again,
take a look again at things you have collected
in the end it all ties up so tall
to one big nothing, one big nothing at all
forget about the reasons and
the treasons we are seeking
forget about the notion that our emotions can be
swept away, kept at bay
forget about being guilty, we are innocent instead
for soon we will all find our lives swept away
and my bank account
oh, how i wish i could take it all down
into my grave, i'd save and save
take a look again, take a look again,
take a look again at things you have collected
in the end it all ties up so tall
to one big nothing, one big nothing at all
forget about the reasons and
the treasons we are seeking
forget about the notion that our emotions can be
swept away, kept at bay
forget about being guilty, we are innocent instead
for soon we will all find our lives swept away
3 Comments:
"Everything is nothing." --anonymous Taoist saying
and let me add that nothing is also everything...;-)~
Hope your last examings go as you'd like...
I know how long it's been. I'll never forget your phone call.
Peace, my friend. The only reason you're dreaming of his decomposing body is because of all the crap you're studying.
He's going to help you pass those damned tests, you know.
get the ink... you'll feel a little better. it's weird how ink does that for people.
good luck on your tests
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