this is the end, my beautiful friend

some times when i'm stressed, i don't post anything.
some times when i'm stressed, all i can think of is posting new thoughts.

the only stress remaining will either multiply by infinity or disappear totally tomorrow by 4:00.
that is the time limit on receiving a call from the instructor about failing the physics and/or pathology final.

part of me wants to dive right in to some dark liquor but my heart burn is too much to be tamed by some antacid right now. dark liquor would just compound the problem.

and i was supposed to have a wonderful night out tomorrow night with someone from so long ago - someone that understands my situation and feelings and has, on more than one occasion, offered to take me out of said situation.
but our night of fun has been deemed void.
he's been in the hospital since tuesday, admitted with numbness on the right side of his body.
two days of every imaginable test and still no answers.
a neurologist is supposed to see him first thing in the morning and give him some indication of things via spinal tap results.

i'd like to say that my friend's situation is contributing to my stress level but i'm too worried to let it get to me like that.

at least, for now.

think good things.