a few days past eight months

i feel as if i've been given a break from things.
even though i have class tonight, i do not have to study for a test.
hell, i don't even have to sit with my book in my lap today since i can catch up with all that tomorrow and over the weekend.

i do have a huge test on tuesday and then my abd0men I final thursday.
my scan final is next friday (15 images in 45 minutes).

then i am going to my clinical site on monday the 2nd and then heading on a week long vacation at the beach*. of course, it will be full of family with husbands and brothers and kids (oh my!), but it will be nice to be away from the usual grind of it all.
i just hope that i can go to the beach and not have to take my book to study for an exam retake.

gah. that's always going to be a fear of mine - the chance of needing to retake an exam. i'd at least like to get to the end of the program before i need to utilize that.
we'll see though...

and in two weeks, the baby will be 5.
in a weird way, all that does is remind me that i've known the guy on the other Coast for 6 years.

wonder how he's doing...

supposed to go out with some folks from class tomorrow night. going to a japanese place to have our dinners cooked in front of us (and sweat while we watch it) and then to some country bar on the other side of town.
i think i will just go out to eat and bow out after that. as much as i want to go out and cut loose, i just don't have it in me.

there is just this overwhelming amount of pressure on me with school.
home is okay (surprisingly), but school and clinicals - it's slowly eating away at my brain.
last monday (the dreadful awful monday), the tech at the hospital told me that within three weeks, she wants me doing full 0B scans. that's a fuckton of responsibility all of a sudden.
and my spot at the hospital is secure for my full externship (yea! get to drive 50 miles each way four times a week instead of one).
but they are a cool group of ladies and listen to my concerns and know that i don't know shit yet. they want me to ask questions (sometimes i feel like i ask too many) and quiz me on what i learned from the prior week.

and all i want to do is get high and forget about it for a little while.


*the last time i was at the beach, my dear friend and i spent the whole time texting back and forth. that was one place we never got to spend time together but always wanted to.
he really liked it there.