time to dip out
i think i'm tired of making myself numb to the problem.whatever it takes, i'll do it. just something to dull the mental exhaustion and make the time more tolerable.
and through it all, i continue to spin my wheels in a way that is doing nothing but digging me deeper in the dirt.
i try to surround myself with school work and house work to eat up the idle time but my brain still works overtime.
time with the kids is what gets me by.
time with my friend on the other side of the bay is slowly getting to be too much.
there are so many emotions that i can't deal with and so many things that end up unfinished.
all i want to do is get another tattoo.
but even with that, there will be too much to deal with after the fact.
in an odd way (yet very familiar), i am beginning to feel like i'm on the verge of a melt down again.
the day begins with anger and frustration.
the day progresses with misunderstanding and bad decisions.
the day ends with exhaustion and the limit being met once again.
i don't know how much longer i can hang on without losing it completely.
3 Comments:
A good way to start any day is with a hot shower, meditation, and thankfulness for the opportunity to begin a new day, rife with possibilities; and a good way to end the day is with meditation and thankfulness for all that was accomplish this day, with the certainty that tomorrow will also be a new day... lookout...energy coming your way...;-)
It might be too much to expect yourself to get through the day. What I do: I take it one hour at a time. Then at least if one hour has been very bad, there's always the next.
Breathe, E. Breathe. And keep your eyes on the end goal. You can get through it. In the meantime, you just have to keep your eyes on the prize...graduation+job=freedom.
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