what's the big deal anyway?
thank goodness i don't write checks. i'd be stuck on writing 7 rather than 8 for months.
actually, i can't think of anything outside the hospital or school that i actually write the date.
i pay for school lunches online (although i've been pushing for both girls to take their lunch), i pay my bills online (except when they sit in the backseat of his car for too long and then have to go to the specific place to pay the day it's due)....
in a way, i was hoping that i would wake up this morning and it would be a different world outside or something.
that the sun would be a bit brighter and the grass a bit greener.
just something.
but the dogs still needed to go out at 6:45 and there was still a baby in my bed and i could still hear the silent whisper of the breathing machine. the sky is full of grey clouds already (i swear i've seen clouds just like these in NC before the first blizzard we had that year).
the neighborhood is so quiet as compared to last night. everyone on the street was shooting off fireworks, which made the dogs insane.
the brown dog is good with just huddling up in a corner near me and shaking like a leaf during a hurricane.
the other dog - ole'blue - well, he's just a jackass. i guess in his mind, if he barks louder and runs faster than any of the fireworks in the sky, he's alright.
because that's exactly what he did.
all.
night.
long.
and then iduct tape muzzled him and put him in the box. from there, all he did was squirm and whine.
that was tolerable.
heh..
i sat down and wrote a letter yesterday. sort of stupid, now that i think about it.
but i wrote a letter to me about the way i've disappointed myself over the years.
i'm going to give it to my husband. you know - since he's a large part of every thing.
and i've got to find an @l-@n0n meeting for tomorrow. anyone ever been to one of those? i'm not looking forward to it but have been told by a few people that i will find my strength there.
i need to find it some where and soon.
god forbid i take a trip in a few months and have someone beat it into me.
that ass kicking will be hard to explain when i return home.
heh...
actually, i can't think of anything outside the hospital or school that i actually write the date.
i pay for school lunches online (although i've been pushing for both girls to take their lunch), i pay my bills online (except when they sit in the backseat of his car for too long and then have to go to the specific place to pay the day it's due)....
in a way, i was hoping that i would wake up this morning and it would be a different world outside or something.
that the sun would be a bit brighter and the grass a bit greener.
just something.
but the dogs still needed to go out at 6:45 and there was still a baby in my bed and i could still hear the silent whisper of the breathing machine. the sky is full of grey clouds already (i swear i've seen clouds just like these in NC before the first blizzard we had that year).
the neighborhood is so quiet as compared to last night. everyone on the street was shooting off fireworks, which made the dogs insane.
the brown dog is good with just huddling up in a corner near me and shaking like a leaf during a hurricane.
the other dog - ole'blue - well, he's just a jackass. i guess in his mind, if he barks louder and runs faster than any of the fireworks in the sky, he's alright.
because that's exactly what he did.
all.
night.
long.
and then i
that was tolerable.
heh..
i sat down and wrote a letter yesterday. sort of stupid, now that i think about it.
but i wrote a letter to me about the way i've disappointed myself over the years.
i'm going to give it to my husband. you know - since he's a large part of every thing.
and i've got to find an @l-@n0n meeting for tomorrow. anyone ever been to one of those? i'm not looking forward to it but have been told by a few people that i will find my strength there.
i need to find it some where and soon.
god forbid i take a trip in a few months and have someone beat it into me.
that ass kicking will be hard to explain when i return home.
heh...
i sure do hope this is the year to shine..
1 Comments:
Here's hoping for a good 2008 for you, sweetie... you deserve it.
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