the air is growing thick

this past week has been a blur, it seems.

i got the letter for my leave of absence.
surprisingly, it came from the big girl's therapist.
she suggests a minimum of 90 days.
she's going to see me once a week for a while, too.

there really hasn't been much improvement anywhere these days.

the whole house, except for the kitchen and the girls' rooms, has to be packed up by tuesday. that's when the new floor project starts.
the back yard brick patio project is complete, also.

it's amazing what gets done when you pay someone.

really - there are so many mixed emotions right now.
i don't even really give a shit.

a fear he cannot hide
the dreaming tree has died
oh have you no pity
this thing i do
i do not deny it
all through this smile
as crooked as danger
i do not deny
i know in my mind
i would leave you now
if i had the strength to
i would leave you up
to your own devices
will you not talk
can you take pity
i don't ask much
but won't you speak
please