a breather

she came into town and then she drove away
sunlight in her hair
indians scattered on dawn's highway bleeding
ghosts crowd the young child's fragile eggshell mind

this past week has been busy, to say the least.

my new site - awesome.
the head tech is a guy i dated in high school [convenient, eh? talk about karma!]. we joke and carry on, but when it's time to be professional, i have never seen anyone better.
in the beginning at my last site, i thought it was a good place. it was a nice facility, but so much drama between depts and with the drs, i'm embarrassed to say i ever put in time there.
the new site is more of a small town type of hospital, aptly dubbed a 'regi0nal m3dical cent3r.' several times during the week, we ended up hanging out and suited up in an 0R, with the tech and some dr behind plastic face masks talking about the last time they played golf - which sounds often.
i do know that the most cocky dickhead surge0n gets his ass spanked every time my tech and him play golf, which causes him to drink more during the game, which always results in a fight with his wife when he gets home.
my tech just laughs his ass off every single time (he's single with custody of his two boys).

i've seen two l@pb@nd procedures, and friday, saw the beginning of a c@rp@l tunnel surgery.
heh..

and i've also realized exactly how much i've forgotten over my leave.
all the time i fucked off when i should have been studying...

anyway -

with my x-stepmom killing herself... ya, i got over that quickly.
it's sad, for sure. i hate it for her family that they had to experience that. it sucks that S felt that bad about things and was in that much pain with her condition.
but what can i do.
she never liked me anyway. i hope she's found some peace.

A - do me a favor please, and assure anyone that might be wondering - i am who i say i am.
and that i usually send cool packages of crap.

there's been a fuckton of shit going on with bi'girl. it's so drawn out and convoluted, i get dizzy thinking about it, let alone trying to write about it.
she's fine and no one got arrested, but it's been recommended that my husband and i attend 6 weeks worth of p@renting ski11s classes.
it's like slow death.

babygirl loves going to the c0untry c1ub after school. she gets mad when she thinks i pick her up early.
she can stay as late as 6:30, i usually pick her up between 5 and 5:30.
friday, i was able to slide outside unnoticed, and watched her playing with the other kids. she was learning how to play tetherba11 and got hit in the nose.
twice.
enter crying child..

me - well, i feel conflicted.
that's the only way i can think to describe it in as few words as possible.
everything seems to end up negated by something else, then something totally unrelated happens that trumps it all.

and in a way, i feel like i'm getting some signs. some things have been happening - maybe something like serendipity? i don't know exactly what to call it.
but i do know that my dear friend is all around me right now.
it makes my heart hurt worse than before, but i think it's what i have been looking for all this time.

and i need a hair cut.

formless hope it can continue a little longer