shit

i've been so damn busy with work and recovery and just everything.

but today, i've had to stop and sit down
i've had to collect myself and gather my thoughts

things are not as they seem.

today is two years since wade passed. it seems like it's been 10 years.

today is also the day that i sat down with my mother and discussed separation from my husband.

i've also talked to my tech about my job future.

for whatever reason, there is such a need to clean up the mess of my life and it's never been stronger than today.

i love my family but i've got to do what i can to retain my sanity.

i will forever love wade for who he was and what he will always mean to me.

deep in my heart, i am finding some peace in my life and have finally grown the balls to do something about it rather than hanging on for dear life.

and if the rays don't win tonight, i'm burning my jersey.
heh...

dear friends - know that i think of you all often and love you so..