#410

was thinking about the blogs i've had and what's happened with them...
always because they were 'found' by someone that should not have found them.
the perils of having a secret niche in the quasi-anonymous inter.web.


big girl's visit was good.
she wanted to go shopping mostly.
on saturday, we did just that. she got some jeans, some tops, and some accoutrements. baby girl got some colored pencils, a new drawing pad and a clip board case thing.
we had a great lunch together while we were out.
that evening, we went to the game. we had a great time.
saw opening pitch, exciting game, and fun people around us... it was just great.

sunday, we had a picnic on the living room floor and watched a movie. we laid under a big blanket on the floor together. it really was good to have big girl home.

she seems good. she's very outgoing and upbeat and positive. she's very pleased with herself and comfortable with herself.
i felt like the conversation wasn't what it was but she's got the tendency to latch on to who she's around more. it's been him - he's the one that will get the most conversation and information right now. but it was all still great.

her room was a pleasant surprise. she really liked that it was so clean and changed up a little.
i kick myself in the ass - i should have taken before and after photos.
i will say - it took me 5 hours to get all the trash out before i could even begin to sort things.
she liked the bed linens i got her (baby girl got new ones, too - and she loves them) and liked how i arranged things.
i'm glad i took that time to do that. i didn't want her to come back to the same shit.

today, i'm busting ass cleaning up the house. i didn't do a damn thing this weekend and that really screwed up my trend.
things have been looking really good with the changes and the upkeep on the floor. it's a pain in the ass to clean every day but if i don't, doghair tumbleweeds end up in the corners the next day.
and they accumulate by the minute.

tomorrow, i bowl.
i love love love that league has started again.
mom isn't here this week - they went to mil@n for the week.
but i'm looking forward to the time with her on wed. i haven't been over there much at all.
when i was working, it waned and now, i find so many other things to do, i just don't go over there unless i have to.
but even tho i'm not over there like i used to be, my relationship with my step.dad has improved. we communicate more about more personal issues. he's always engaged me in conversation, since i was a kid* - he's a great thinker and debater. he's incredibly intelligent and more generous than anyone can imagine.
but things with my mom feel very superficial right now. i know she's still coming to terms with my personal relationship and i'm still coming to terms with her knowing who i sleep next to.
it will all come, i hope.

anyway.... i've got a huge mound of teetering crockery in the sink and a floor that hasn't been swept since friday.

need i say more?



*he's been around since i was young enough to remember anything. he taught me how to tie my shoe and tell time. he's always been a dad to me and treated me like i was his.