a happenin' saturday night

i just don't get it.
i just don't understand.
i'm generally a nice person. i'm generous to a fault. i can be serious and i can be fun and i can be spontaneous and i can.....
what i can't be is someones desire, someones object, someones interest at all.....

i took baby girl to meet her dad this morning for spring.break.
i leave tomorrow afternoon to go b0wl in el.pas0.
technically, this evening should have been spent creating alotta havoc.
but i'm sitting on the couch, getting high, and wondering if there really is any point in anything any more. i honestly don't know what in the hell to do with anything any more.
and it's getting to the point where i just don't care.

life is different now. i'm not so sure i like this alone thing.
well, i do like it. it's nice to be the only adult in the house.
but what i don't like is the part when i try to fall back into friendships i had a year ago - things that i put on the back burner while i put all my efforts in my relationship. friendships that were supposed to stand the test of time with people that said they understood my motives and were happy to have me back in their lives. people that have stood me up and left me out and reminded me that i just don't fit in like i used to.

anyway.... it is what it is.
what can i do besides keep my dogs clean, my kid fed, and the house clean.

i'm over it.